#2/5/2014

I have been recently stepping up my exercise routine which now includes water aerobics. I am determined to make a difference on my body and get back to the clothes that whisper my name as I walk by them when I get ready in the morning.

The Nutrisystem diet is going well - I have now started to see patterns in my body. Every 9 or 10 days my body starts to cramp up and I get constipated, then once it passes the weight loss continues. It is one of those roller coaster type behaviors I am sure will continue all the way down to my goal: the loss of 100-115 pounds total. That is like me shitting out an obese Kate Moss!

I am going to do it too.

I have friends, a loving husband and a fantastic mother who create my support structure necessary to help me stay the course. It has not been easy - there are so many temptations out there it is easy to justify a simple detour in order to indulge in the most unhealthiest of ways.

I am surprised at how much restraint I have shown over the past three weeks because there have been so many times I could have been weak and said, "Fuck it!" But I did not. I told myself there is no reward for you if you eat that pizza, because you will not stop.

In essence, I cut the head off the snake to avoid falling off the wagon. Here and there I have indulged to a point, only to a point. I have created a balanced schedule of minor indulgences every other Sunday, where I eat a very small portion of something off plan. I believe this outlet will be something that helps me avoid the binging that does happen so often to people who start new diets and crash.

I am starting to see a change in how I see food. Now sometimes the Nutrisystem portions are too much for me to finish. I am getting fuller quicker and all my hunger pains have vanished. I feel more focused at alert in my life - work, home, out with friends. I feel my energy returning to my body and reclaiming its old habitat.

The food from Nutrisystem has its highs and lows - some are better than others - as previous mentioned in a past post - I have upgraded my plan to include frozen food - so now I can "cook" meals instead of heating them up and consume all that radiation. #RAD

There are days I do not want to eat everything because I do not feel hungry - I still force myself to eat six times/day - but now I know for a fact my stomach cannot hold the same amount of food it once did in my old gluttonous days. 

Shirts fit looser, jeans sag more. I can bend over and tie my shoes without having to bend my leg away from my body. Sweating as I dress has lessened and I feel more jovial. There is still a long long way to go - I know that. But the smallest changes have been making the biggest impact in how I see myself.